| Welcome to Twilight Gaming. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. We'd love to have you become a part of our growing community, there are many opportunities for advancements and this is just a great place to get away and make new friends! We hope to see you join, invite your friends as well! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| Zendikar: Unknown Legends | |
|---|---|
| Topic Started: Sep 3 2009, 06:29 PM (476 Views) | |
| Dan | Oct 19 2009, 11:30 PM Post #16 |
 
|
Well, the story line is much different in that the actual world of magic never references the cards, but all in all its a great story. -Dan |
|
Having a problem that's site related? Want to duel via AIM? Contact me @.... AIM - anakin2872 email - anakin2872@gmail.com (I'm a simple person, same 5 year old screen name all around....except youtube, somebody took it...) Yu-Gi-Oh! Decks: Cyber Junk, Elemental Heroes Card of the Day Writer, occasionally. | |
 |
 
|
| ExarionUniverse1 | Oct 28 2009, 11:06 PM Post #17 |
Onar, the Wizard of Lost Ages
|
Chapter 4: Motivation Location: Zendikar His steps echoing of the greenish marble stone floor, Warthog returned to the palace escorted by his allies the Kors and his loyal division of imperial guards who were led by Garhouk. “WE MISSED THEM, HUNT THEM DOWN OR I WILL HANG EVERYONE!” Warthog yelled. “We will get them Warthog, I already sent out pursuit parties and Garhouk sent spies to a lot of the resisting strongholds,” the leader of the Kors said. Warthog looked at Garhouk. Their eyes meet. Garhouk nodded in agreement. Warthog calmed down immediately. “Garhouk can be trusted, he saved my life dozen of times before” Warthog thought to himself. Garhouk was a half-breed like Warthog. He was so loyal that Warthog considered the 6 feet dragon like elf with reddish eyes his brother. “Where do you think they went?” he inquired Garhouk. “Probably Glendor” Garhouk reported. “They have extensive fortifications including ballista towers, stonewalls, and covered from attack on three directions there “Merek the Kor reported. “Well I have to be left alone, to think about how to rule my newly attained kingdom,” Warthog screeched softly. “EVERYONE OUT THE KING HAS TO REST! Garhouk implemented. He pushed everyone out of Warthog’s quarters and shut the big ebony doors behind him. “I now rule Zendikar,” Warthog thought to himself “But you forgot your promises” a voice behind him said. Warthog felt a noose go around his neck and tighten. “You” he whimpered. “Where is the Planeswalker and the sacred deck? The voice asked. “I had both, but the Planeswalker took the deck and escaped with the princess” Warthog managed to stammer out. “You will not trick me or the Alantis again Warthog” the shadow tightened the hold “Please . … Give … me… a second... Chance…” Warthog blurted out amid suffocation. Footsteps started down the hall. “Very well you have a month, to find them or else!” the voice bellowed! The noose lifted, the window opened, a glimpse of shadow was seen and disappeared. “GARHOUK! “ Warthog screeched! “Yes, my lord”! Garhouk repiled swinging open the doors. “Did you notice anyone enter my chamber?” Warthog asked. “No my lord, I was just behind the door, did anything happen?” “No, no I must be seeing things, tighten the security in case though” “Will be done, my lord” Garhouk answered and left. Warthog thought to himself: I must be on the lookout…. At the same time: Nissa looked behind the wagon, they were still being pursuited by the Kors. She got out her prized quiver and arrows fitted them together and aimed. She leveled the quiver on her shoulder to put her target dead center in front of her vision and fired. There was a shriek of agony as one of the Kors tumbled of his horse to lie deadly still. Nissa reloaded, picked another target and fired again with equal result. All of a sudden, she heard a voice in her head: “Watch out”. She barely had time to look: Two Orcs had popped up from inside the carriage and were about to attack her and Planeswalker… She aimed and fired. One of the Orcs fell down with an arrow shaft sticking down from his throat. Planeswalker sliced down the second one. “That was close “Nissa heard in her head. She was amazed. She could talk to Planeswalker and hear him mentally. However, before she can react to the discovery, a scream echoed through the air. One of the Kors had managed to scramble on top the wagon but was thrown off by an unknown figure. “Who is this?” thought both Nissa and Planeswalker at the same time. Beatrice moaned in pain. The Kors strangely stopped following them. “Duck now!” the figure commanded. “What?” Nissa asked. “I said duck now” Nissa heard voices from the sacred deck and gasped in horror. The mountain in front of them started crumbling and rocks were nearing them and a whoosh of arrows sounded from the back… End of chapter. Edited by ExarionUniverse1, Nov 7 2009, 05:59 PM.
|
 Titles don't honour men , men honour Titles | |
|
|
|
| nyjetsrulz | Oct 31 2009, 07:56 PM Post #18 |
 
|
interesting read, Exarion. u are definitely improving as each chapter is posted |
|
My Trade Thread My FanFic | |
|
|
|
| ExarionUniverse1 | Nov 3 2009, 11:03 PM Post #19 |
|
Onar, the Wizard of Lost Ages
|
any mistakes? helpful hints? |
|
Titles don't honour men , men honour Titles | |
|
|
|
| ExarionUniverse1 | Jan 3 2010, 09:22 PM Post #20 |
|
Onar, the Wizard of Lost Ages
|
A long awaited chapter finally done: Chapter 5: Old Memories. The rocks fell on the wagon, with all the occupants scrambling off it in just in nick of time. Planeswalker, Nissa, Beatrice, and Mika and the stranger were covered by dust and rubble. “Where are they?” the Kors screamed. “This is our land, NOW LEAVE!” the Orcs answered. “We need to find the wanted exiles that were on that wagon,” the Kor captain stated. “Well. Warthog has not entered an alliance with us yet, so get out”! Gort the Orc replied. The Kors tried to force their way to the rubble, but were meet by arrows from a force of Orcs exceeding their number. They had to turn back… “We will return with the alliance papers and then we will even our odds!” the Kor militia bellowed. Gor the Orc looked on the horizon as the Kors left, and then told his lieutenant: “We must find the sacred deck before the Kors.” “Yes, Sir.” Gort smirked in delight… “We will get the deck, and rule the MultiUniverse!”he thought to himself. At the same time under the rubble: Nissa regained conscious to find Mika, Beatrice, Planeswalker, and shadow crouching around her. “Is everyone unhurt?” the shadow asked. “No, we are all healthy under this rubble” Beatrice managed to say. The Shadow peeked through the hole of light and noticed that most of the Orcs had left and posted only a few sentries to guard the rubble. “Now’s our chance, follow my lead and safeguard the deck” He muttered a word: “Mekrsh” and the rocks started to levitate. The sentries were astonished as the Shadow and Planeswalker rushed toward them, swords bared and glistening. The sound of metal hitting metal ensured in the air. Beatrice, Mika, and Nissa witnessed one by one the defeat of the Orcs. As she watched the battles, Nissa could not quell the feeling that the Shadow was familiar in some way! Then she glanced at the crest on his neck. She had seen it before… However, where at? She tried to remember and it hit her: This was Loric! Her father had exiled him from Zendikar! Nevertheless, why would he defend them? ----------------------------------------------- Loric thought to himself:” I must guard the princesses.” As he slew the last of the sentries, he looked at Beatrice and Nissa. “Where can I hide them?” he asked Planeswalker. “Glendor, would probably be the safest” Planeswalker repiled “From a fortification type of view I agree” Loric agreed. “But it will be a short stay” he added. Planeswalker nodded. “I understand you, spies are everywhere” “Nissa, Mika, Beatrice we are going to Glendor,” Loric stated. He whistled. A horse appeared at the edge of the woods, followed by another grey horse. “Nissa, get on the horse with Planeswalker” “Mika and Beatrice will get on my horse with me” This was done but as he got on the horse, Loric had a flashback! Flashback: “Stand up, Loric” Aremis ordered. “You have betrayed me for the last time, now I exile you”. “But your highness, it was not me but Warthog, I am innocent!” Loric answered. “SLIENCE, I WILL NOT YOU TAINT OUR NOBLE WARTHOG!” Aremis countered. “Guards, throw him out of the city walls!” Aremis commanded. “Please Sir” Loric stammered. However, it was too late; two of the guards took him and threw him out in the wilderness... “You underestimated Warthog,” one of guards stated. “I will see you again, Warthog”, Loric whispered… And his travels began… He disappeared into the jungle. End of Chapter. Edited by ExarionUniverse1, Jan 4 2010, 08:27 PM.
|
|
Titles don't honour men , men honour Titles | |
|
|
|
| Zero. | Jan 4 2010, 09:21 PM Post #21 |
Guren.
|
Your writing is getting better, however now it appears more of a screenplay than a fanfic. Almost everything is a line long; fan fics and other forms of literature typically need more meat behind them, more description, for example instead of saying he had a flashback or Flashback: you should say something like he fell into a deep trance and infer the flashback. It's good though, I just wish I played Magic. |
| |
|
|
|
| nyjetsrulz | Jan 8 2010, 06:31 PM Post #22 |
|
Good chapter, Exarion. It was broken up quite a bit (im gulty of that also lol, so not too bad) but was good. Would follow Zero's advice though. |
|
My Trade Thread My FanFic | |
|
|
|
| Llanowar Lord, Grenseal. | Jan 10 2010, 05:00 AM Post #23 |
BURRRRNNNNN!!!
|
Wow, this is great writing one thing though: can you include the Lhurgoyf in your next one? |
Vintage/legacy vet 
| |
|
|
|
| ExarionUniverse1 | Jan 10 2010, 05:54 PM Post #24 |
|
Onar, the Wizard of Lost Ages
|
Yes I can ( You Read my thoughts) lol |
|
Titles don't honour men , men honour Titles | |
|
|
|
| ExarionUniverse1 | Feb 26 2010, 09:28 PM Post #25 |
|
Onar, the Wizard of Lost Ages
|
Sorry for the long wait , new chapter posted, Enjoy! Chapter 7: the Fortress of hope Location: Glendor In an area of mountains, there stood a fortress that guarded vital passes of the Zendikar Empire. The northern wind howled outside its crimson stonewalls while the lavish grasslands outside it swayed with the wind current. The sky was also light blue and birds sang their tunes. To any traveler who happened to cross here, it seemed like a quiet, peaceful piece of paradise. Little did they know that a great battle had already started in this beautiful scenic but strategic place. It was a battle that was unknown to most! The inhabitants of the bastion however knew and defended this castle led by the garrison commanders. The commanders had recently called a council to discuss the situation. Urza of Argive spoke first: “The Kors have deployed at least three battalions at the edge of the swamps” Karn implemented, “that does not include the Orcs, who are strengthening on the Northern border” “Sir, we have a visitor that says he has vital info about the situation” a guard reported. “Let him in” Karn ordered. As the unknown stranger walked in, Urza shuddered since he recognized the guest. “Yawgmoth!, arrest him now guards” he screamed. “Urza, you’re mistaken, Yawgmoth is dead” Karn spoke. “Yes, I am not Yawgmoth, I was sent here by Lomogloyf” a sinister voice answered. Urza entranced in his thoughts remembering his slain brother Misha, the other Titans and his archenemy whom he had battled and killed himself. However, he had a strange feeling about this guest…. They continued discussing the situation with info provided by the strange guest. Urza kept glancing at the guest with distrust. “We need to speak to the Eldzari, they may become allies,” Karn suggested. “You can’t be suggesting to cooperate with those evil creatures!” a captain of the guard blurred out. “We may have too, I will have to talk to Sorin about that possibility”, Urza stated. The guest suddenly got up and walked out with a mysterious smirk on his face. Urza thought to himself: “What was that about?” Outside the hall: The mysterious guest came out on the courtyard. He tried surveying the fortifications but was blocked by guards asking for passes. He walked away around the corner. “Psst, come here, Yawgmoth” a voice rang out of nowhere. The guest shuddered at hearing the name. “The great Kor nation would like to talk to you” two Kors were suddenly visible. “Ok, take me to our meeting place” the guest answered. Suddenly, arrows ended up in the throats of both Kors… But the guest was already on the slain Kor‘s horse that had been hidden and galloped away into the mist. Urza ran out of the barracks, he was sure something would happen later on at his meeting with Sorin. He took out the arrows out of the Kors and gave them to the guards for further questioning. Karn in the meantime looked at the sunset with anticipation, his sensors predicted a storm… “Urza, you have to contact Sorin as quick as possible!” Karn’s metallic voice stated. Urza merely nodded and got on the horse and galloped in the direction of Sorin’ s residence in the mountains. Sorin’s residence: The Vampire Planeswalker Sorin looked up into the sky. He sensed that something was about to go wrong. He brought his attention to the noise of hoofs, someone was coming… He glanced up again and froze: the sky had become orange “Sorin, I have come to talk about the Eldrazi.” “Urza, you have come too late, the lock has been broken.” End of chapter |
|
Titles don't honour men , men honour Titles | |
|
|
|
| nyjetsrulz | Mar 6 2010, 07:56 PM Post #26 |
|
Chapter was ok, A lil on the short side. If you can make it longer and maybe have a lil time for some description it would be better. ie if someon made an angry comment, mention that he slammed his hand on the table. Rubbish example but u know what i mean |
|
My Trade Thread My FanFic | |
|
|
|
| Yomako | Mar 8 2010, 09:43 PM Post #27 |
|
I will have to echo the opinions of the poster above, but other than that it is an enjoyable read :3 |
|
|
|
| S.M. | May 23 2010, 10:51 PM Post #28 |
Bazaar...where's Baghdad? - Retorical
|
Keep up the great work. I really enjoy reading these chapters, and you're improving along the way with each post you make...well done, S.M. |
|
Vintage Advisor Since 2002. Proud Twilightgaming Vintage Moderator! "If you want the best results...deal only with the best." | |
|
|
|
| ExarionUniverse1 | Jul 5 2010, 06:20 PM Post #29 |
|
Onar, the Wizard of Lost Ages
|
NEW CHAPTER POSTED! Chapter 8: MultiUniverse “What do you mean?” Urza asked. “The power binding the lock has disappeared, and Chandra and Sarkhan disappeared” Sorin countered. “Who are they”? Urza asked. “I must tell you the whole story for you to understand” Sorin implied with a gasp of sorrow. He entranced in remembrance: “This was a very long time ago, when I was a normal being”, he said, “before becoming a Vampire.” “I and Sarkhan were the closest of friends, we were everywhere together.” “Until that one day that changed everything” Sorin’s memories: “Sorin, no one will know, we did it,” Sarkhan appealed to his friend. “Still, maybe the owner will show up” Sorin countered,” the eye has to belong to someone.” “You scared, Sorin?” “No I am not, let’s go!” They started moving toward where Sarkhan found this mysterious object. Sorin thought to himself: “I hope this doesn’t turn in a trap of some kind”. After two hours of travel in a green dense wood, they finally sighted the spot! As Sarkhan bent over to shift the camouflage away, footsteps were heard and cracking of vines insured. “Who is there?” Sarkhan yelled There was no reply. “It must been the wind crashing into the evergreen forest birch trees, he continued, “I must be tired.”’ “Strange, who do you think made this?” Sorin asked, looking in the pale beige crystal eye. “I don’t know maybe the dwarves,” Sarkhan suggested. CREAK! A vine cracked like it was stepped on. Sorin and Sarkhan instantly bared their sword and quiver to readiness. “ Whose there?” Sarkhan repeated in to the unknown abyss of the wilderness, aiming his bow in case of unwanted visitors. The only reply was movement nearing to them by the minute. Sarkhan flexed his arrow to fire, but suddenly a gorgeous blue-eyed strange female came out of hiding from the vast woods. “Don’t fire please” she asked. “Who are you?” both friends blurred out at the same instant. “My name is Chandra , and I would not touch that eye, if I were you” she repiled, elegantly swaying her brisk golden hair from her dark green eyes in the process. “I have a bad feeling about those crystal eyes , so refrain from touching them please” she continued. “Crystal Eyes , so there are more? Sorin inquired. “ Yes there are , one each was sighted in Mirrodin and Alara” was her reply. “Why should we believe you , Chandra or whoever you are?” Sarkhan stated with skepticism. “You don’t have to!” she shot back coldly. She got up and started turn with her hips but Sorin got ahold of her. Chandra instantly overthrew him and landed on top of him losing her balance. “.Never do that again!” Chandra said wielding a knife close to Sorin’s artery vein. “Ok., relax, I made a bad joke.” Sorin answered, “Let go of the knife please!” Chandra didn’t budge, Sarkhan stood in shock motionless, eyeing her with caution, and Sorin with fear in his troubled face. “Miss, we both apologize but your beautiful looks made us lose our minds” Sarkhan managed to say Chandra cursed, . “Men the barbarians of the world!”, removing the knife in the process. There suddenly was movement heard in the west. All three heroes readied their weapons, Sorin kneeling with his sword. The movement continued feverishly with much noise. The ground shook from underneath like stone was moving. “This sounds like an Entau Golem guardian, we have been detected!” Sarkhan said! “What do you mean?” Sorin asked. “I should have told you before, Bolas asked me to guard the eye, but I got bored.” Sarkhan stated with an innocent look on his face. “YOU ARE TRULY MAD!” Sorin bellowed! “Well, it took you long enough to notice that” Sarkhan stated. “Rather than argue, why don’t you guys find a way to escape or distract it?” Chandra asked “Oh yeah that’s what needs to be taken out” Sarkhan pointed at the huge stone golem that appeared. The golem noticed Sarkhan, swing its fist, splitting trees apart inches away from him. “It wants to play, let the fun begin, come dear Entau Golem!” Sarkhan stated. “Don’t anger it fool, cover me while I shoot it or distract it” Chandra informed the other planewalkers. “How are you going to do that, swipe your hair and show it your uncovered skinage?” Sarkhan repiled with sarcasm. “Watch me!” she said, starting to lean up as If to aim and fire. “Where are your weapons?” Sarkhan was about to ask, but suddenly the area ahead of the golem sprang up in bustling flames rising the temperature by 3000 degrees! The Entau Golem backed off a step in shock. “What the hell!” Sorin cursed. “You’re a pyromancer, I felt something hot about you other then your looks” Sarkhan exclaimed. Chandra rolled her eyes at him aimed and fired another cannonade in the vicinity of the stone beast guardian. The creature saw it coming through and deflected the flaming ball back to its original location nearly frying Chandra, if Sorin had not pulled her to a new displacement. “How did that Golem do that?” Chandra wondered in shock. Nevertheless, before any of the planewalkers could answer, a flash of light indicted that they were not the golem’s target at all. Sorin, Sarkhan and Chandra watched in horror as three unknown planewalkers appeared out of thin air and activated the Eye! There was a secondary flash and suddenly the sky turned an ominous black, while the sun turned blue and cold as ice. There was a hoard sickening cries in the air as Emarkul, Ulamog and Kozelik along with their respective and bloodthirsty broods awakened from their centuries of captivity and denial with vengeance and an endless appetite. The Emarkul brood soared into to ionosphere, spreading their lettuce tentacles out into the wind stream. Sarkhan approached the nearest unknown planewalker. Just as Sarkhan lifted his weapon, the planewalker turned and Sarkhan froze in shock. “Bolas is that you?” he managed to say before being hit unconscious. Sorin and Chandra ran toward Sarkhan but the enemy planewalker had evaporated like thin air. Chandra and Sorin lifted the motionless body and escaped while they still could! At this point of Sorin’s story was interrupted by a odd motion. The hair on his nostrils glistened suddenly. “Kor scouts are near , we need to go” he growled. Urza got up bearing his machete and shield in front of him. “ Lower your weapons , you are surrounded” a Kor voice was heard and Kors appeared from all sides. “Looks like we have to follow their advice” both heroes said to each other. But suddenly there was a scream in the sky as a Drake came out of the sky and ripped a Kor ‘s throat open! “The damn elf sent the Drake in time” Sorin grinned. “ What elf?” Urza asked. “Now is not the time to ask, HOP ON the Drake!” Sorin screamed as he threw Urza on to the Drake, following shortly himself. “They must not escape!” the Kor commander yelled. End of the Chapter! |
|
Titles don't honour men , men honour Titles | |
|
|
|
| Faust | Jul 6 2010, 08:29 AM Post #30 |
Writer of Words
|
Can't....wait....must.....read....more! QQ |
 My Blog | |
|
|
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Literature & Manga's! · Next Topic » |
4:14 AM Jul 30
